• 02/24/2013, 04:07PM ET

Sports gigs you would not want any part of..

HighwayCrossingFrog (175-847-63) vs CuntryBlumpkin (305-247-64)

1. The 2 man luge..
You either lie on top of a man..
Or a man lies on top of you!

2. Male ice skating..
You dress up very feminine..
And then you prance around like a little girl..

3. Marathon running..
You have to run at least 100 miles a week..
And you can only race twice a year..
And it's horrible for your knees..

4. RB IN the NFL..
Your lucky if you make it to 30..
Everyone is trying to kill you..
And you are basically a human battering ram..

5. Kicker in NFL..
No one cares if you make it, cause every kick is right in front of the posts..
But if you miss.. You become the next bill Buckner..

6. 7. Defense in soccer and NFL..
In general it's a lot easier to look bad then good..

8. Closer in MLB..
If you were good you would have been a starter..
Instead you only know 2 pitches..
Your arm gets worn out early cause all you throw is heat..
Plus if you blow a save in the playoffs.. Oh dear!

9. Not a position.. But taking a penalty in the World Cup..

10. Kentucky derby..
Cause it means you are 5ft tall..

I'll keep your first 3, and keep your number 9, but I can't agree with the rest.

I'd be more than happy to just be sitting on an NFL/NBA bench making the minimum, and while horse racing generally requires a short jockey, riding horses is fun, and if you're the horse, you get to live a life of luxery after your racing days are done, doing nothing but producing offspring and eating high quality food.

4. Rodeo clown- These guys run around in cow crap and mud, saving the lives of bull riders by putting themselves in harms way, and they have to dress up in ridiculous outfits.

5. Bat boy- None of the players care who you are, and the only way anyone will know your name is if you do something embarrassing.

6. Umpire/referee in any sport- When they do good, they get no credit, and one bad call, and an entire city wants to kill them.

7. Janitor at any stadium- Fans in every city leave behind big, nasty messes, and cleaning sucks.

8. Spotter for weight lifters- Power lifts, power clings, squats, etc, either way you're in a gay looking position.

10. Soccer announcer- Is there a more boring job you have to pretend to be enthusiastic about?

Interesting list..

In broke back mountain.. Jake glyenenhall tries to buy the rodeo clown free beer!
You can call me a loser ha ha.. But getting free beers beats gettin the sheez out of an angry bull that you just tried to mount..

You need to watch more movies!

I know this isn't a bat boy, (similar)..
But I know a tennis ball boy who got Stefan edbergs tennis racquet!
And I know a ball girl who got flowers, chocolates and a kiss from Tim henman!
I'm sure there are similar stories of cool things happening to bat boys..
You are just a half glass empty kind of guy..
Go take half a Xanax and 8 pints of grolsch and you will be back at the Hard Rock Cafe talking to the pretty girl with chubby face, (according to the surgeon)..
I'm not a psychiatrist:(
But I do have fox soccer channel!!! Ha ha..

So, a gay guy in a gay movie tries to buy a rodeo clown a beer, and that makes being a rodeo clown desireable?

Personally, I'm straight, and I'd prefer not to be required to get in the way of a 2000 pound pissed off monster while running around in the same monster's piss and shit.

A bat boy and a tennis ball boy are not similar at all. The tennis guy isn't affiliated with any team, and there's only two players on the court at the same time. In a lot of cases, the bat boy is on a volunteer basis and doesn't get paid except free food and drinks. If's I'm gonna be ignored by players, and not get paid, I better be getting some recognition on television, which would only happen if I fall down, miss an easy catch or interfere with a play.

I'm definitely not a glass half empty kind of guy. I'm the guy who doesn't complain much and doen't like to hear other people complaining, especially about a website that they're not forced to log on to.

But, my sporting gigs are far less desireable that yours.

I once was a ref for a rugby game..
And it was tons and tons of fun..
It's a huuuuuuge ego trip..
How awesome would relationships be if you could tell your irrational girlfriend, "PENALTY! 5 minutes in the sin bin! Thank you! Thank you!"..
When I was the ref I gave away 1000's of penalties..
I even got to end the game 10 minutes early cause a nasty brawl broke out..

If you are a soccer announcer you probably get fox soccer channel for free right?
You can count me in:)

In terms of announcing I think Tour de France would be most difficult..
Noice bike! What the heck are they suppose to say on a 6 hour flat stage?
Golf would be tricky too..

But in soccer..
You get to say..


Pretty cool.. It's very therapeutic to scream..
According to the surgeon..

Being a ref for a non professional rugby game isn't exactly the same as being the home plate umpire for a MLB game. Every player will argue with at some point during the game, and God forbid you get screened and can't see if the runner was out or safe, the you have the manager in your face and a stadium full of fans cursing your name. If you make a mistake and you need a police escort out of town, umpiring is not for me.

If you're a soccer announcer you get the joy of watching Eurotrash and Hispanics kicking a ball around and getting nothing accomplished by doing so for what feels like hours. And you're an announcer, it's your job to act like a bunch of foreigners kicking a ball around is exciting, and you're not allowed to call a player that just acted like he was shot when he was barely touched a pussy, or you'll lose the crappy job you didn't want in the first place.

You think it would suck to be on an NFL roster as a kicker or a running back, I think it would suck to have to run around in cow dung and urine trying to distract a 2000 pound beast. Which of these seems the least desireable?

Comment #1 has been removed
February 24, 2013  06:09 PM ET

1. Playing for the Marlins
2. Coach of the dysfunctional Lakers
3. Being Manti Teo right now (so, Mr. Teo, wanna tell us about that Lennay Kekua/Ronaiah Tuiasasopo incident again?)
4. Any pro scout who has to go watch JaMarcus Russel's "Pro Day"
5. Playing for the Dallas Mavericks and having to wear that beard which you can NEVER shave

February 24, 2013  07:46 PM ET

I was gonna go with a gay joke but everything is pale in comparison to the two-man luge. Hilarious find.

February 24, 2013  08:13 PM ET

I was gonna go with a gay joke but everything is pale in comparison to the two-man luge. Hilarious find.

Agreed. Pretty tough to beat that one.

Comment #5 has been removed
Comment #6 has been removed
Comment #7 has been removed
February 26, 2013  01:10 PM ET

Gynecologist for the Russian power lifting team.

February 26, 2013  02:25 PM ET

Gynecologist for the Russian power lifting team.


February 26, 2013  04:30 PM ET

Gynecologist for the Russian power lifting team.


February 26, 2013  05:07 PM ET

Gynecologist for the Russian power lifting team.


February 27, 2013  06:06 AM ET

Great counter Outlaw!

Comment #13 has been removed
February 27, 2013  09:54 AM ET

Great counter Outlaw!

Rodeo clown was definitely a very original and very fitting pick.

February 27, 2013  12:07 PM ET

I wouldn't say that bringing up Brokeback Mountain is going to get HCF any votes...

It won a lot of oscars!

Honorable mention..
Being a full time Sherpa..
Altitude at that level really isn't fun..

February 27, 2013  01:25 PM ET

It won a lot of oscars!

That really isn't helping you either!

February 27, 2013  01:27 PM ET

Honorable mention..Being a full time Sherpa..Altitude at that level really isn't fun..

They live at that altitude all their lives, so for them it's great fun!!!

February 27, 2013  01:28 PM ET

Rodeo clown was definitely a very original and very fitting pick.

Very True! And they don't make anywhere near what an NFL RB or kicker makes over their career even if it is short!!!

February 27, 2013  01:29 PM ET


February 27, 2013  04:04 PM ET

You only have 24hours to live once you get past the last camp..
Then you get pnemunia and die..
The risk is so great..
Only a mad man would think its fun


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