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  • 11/19/2013, 01:49PM ET

Tailgater

Golden Grillz (116-117-21) vs Sir Loin (4-4-1)
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Come up with the best three course menu for tailgating: Argument #1 Appetizers, Argument 2 main course, and Argument #3 desserts.

I'm going with the assumption that most people that tailgate do not have a big RV with electricity. However everyone has a grill.

Using foil, I am going to grill bacon.

The foil prevents the grease from dripping into the flames and causing a major fire. In addition, bacon needs to be slowly baked on the grill to get it to its ideal crispiness. This utilizes the warm up time needed for grill start-up and prep time for the main dish. After all the point of this is to tailgate, and not being stuck next to the grill the entire time.

Why is bacon the ideal appetizer?

It's delicious

There are varities of flavors from cajun, honey glazed, teriyaki, traditional, jalapeno, etc.

Good finger food... no silverware needed

Can be used as a swizzle stick for bloody marys... reducing need for utensils further

Complements other foods... further explained in main course

Minimal risk of getting food on your jersey... which is an easy hazard with dips

Good luck


With all due respect to bacon, and everything wonderful that it espouses, including the ability to turn a vegetarian to the dark-side...

I am going to smoke some wings over a combination of cherry and apple wood chunks and natural hardwood charcoal.

The combination of apple and cherry impart a perfect smoky flavor to the wings, and the meat stays tender, while a quick flash over the direct heat will crisp up the skin.

There will be jerk wings that have been marinating for a couple nights in a wet-rub, spicy as hell.

There will be soy/ginger/garlic wings, for those who don't like the upper-lip sweats, and prefer their savory treats with nary a trace of heat.

There will be wings in a BBQ rub.

There will be wings in a Buffalo-style marinade.

To be polite, there will be a handful of celery sticks, but those will mainly be

No utensils needed. Wings are the ultimate hand-held appetizer, in perfect portions. You can graze as you wish - there's never waste.


As you put it, bacon has the ability to turn a vegetarian to the dark side... so I am sticking with my bacon theme for my main course... the Bacon explosion.

Ttwo types of bacon explosions, one main dish and one side. Both prepared night before

Main:
- One package of thick sliced bacon, weave together into a lattice
- Layer of provolone cheese on top of the lattice (can use a pepper jack cheese if spiciness is not an issue)
- Place 1/2" thick layer of italian sausage (can use jimmy dean breakfast sausage if this is an early game)
- Another layer of cheese
- Half a package of chopped up cooked bacon spread over the top
- Optional: sliced fresh jalapenos (not that pickle jar crap)

Roll it all up into a log. Place on foil. Season. Grill. Once done, slice, and serve on bread with preferred condiments (bbq sauce or creamy horseradish sauce)

Side:
- Create bacon lattice (same as above)
- Layer of previously cooked and chilled macaroni and cheese
- half package of cooked bacon
(Optional) Fresh jalapeno

Roll, grill, slice.

Total utensils needed:
Paper plates
Knife for slicing


OK, you had a good thing going with your first course, but after dining at your tailgate, I'm fairly certain that the only bacon explosion I'm going to remember is the one I leave in the portable toilet that I'll be forced to frequent, and miss most of the game.

Variety is the spice of life my friend, and while I admire your dedication to bacon, I think you've gone too far. Too much of a good thing. Bacon is best in smaller doses. And... I think your addition of cheese to a traditional Bacon Explosion recipe is going to leave your grill in a gooey mess, since one usually requires an hour per inch of BE roll - you're looking at a couple hours of cook time, and that cheese is going to melt all over and create a fire hazard.

Besides that, the ladies are going to avoid your tailgate like the plague.

My 2nd course is Carnitas: slow cooked garlicky pork shoulder, tender and succulent, pulled apart, and served taco style. Corn tortillas, chopped raw onion, avocado, cilantro, taco sauce. No utensils needed for dining. Simple. Hand-held. Perfect. Garnishes can be skipped to order. Excellent with a cold beer.


Carnitas. Also from the wonderful animal that brings you bacon!

You comment on the cook time for the bacon explosion (which will be on foil to prevent the mess and flame ups you mentioned), but the pork should will take even longer to cook.

Considering I am going to a game to watch a game, and not pick up a chick. Ladies avoiding my tailgate like the plague is actually a good thing. But everyone loves bacon, so I am not worried about it.

In fact, I am using bacon to stick to my theme. My dessert will be bacon dipped in milk chocolate and some dipped in white chocolate. Frozen over night and served. The saltiness and sweet complement each other like a chocolate covered pretzel, but with protein.

As for your bathroom issues, there's been great innovations in the past 20 yrs called Tums/Rolaids/Tagamet etc. If that doesn't work for you I will serve the thickest softest napkins that can be used for wiping...

I feel sad that you had to point out your meal goes excellent with a cold beer... Of course cold beer is a staple for tailgating that shouldn't even need to be mentioned. Just like jello shots for dessert.

Great TD. Good work


The dedication to your theme is admirable. A trifecta of bacon. Outstanding.

For my dessert, I'm going with something built off of my favorite cereal since I was in short pants:

Capn Crunch Peanut Butter bars with chocolate frosting. Peanut Butter and chocolate. Classic combo put in a new format. I'm not claiming to having been the first to make this dessert, but before I made it, I had never seen it anywhere else, but sometimes the most obvious things are hidden in front of our very eyes. It makes people say "I can't believe I didn't think of this."

Great TD to you too... Now I'm hungry.

November 19, 2013  02:09 PM ET

November 19, 2013  02:34 PM ET

Hard to argue against bacon...

November 19, 2013  02:36 PM ET
QUOTE(#2):

Hard to argue against bacon...

Yes it is!

November 19, 2013  02:51 PM ET
QUOTE(#3):

Yes it is!

I feel like I made an easy TD win attempt by throwing out bacon... doubt anyone takes this anyway.

November 19, 2013  03:01 PM ET

Appetizer: Fruit soaked over night in Vodka, amaretto and brandy.

Main course: Beer

Dessert: Cherry Bombs

November 19, 2013  03:02 PM ET
QUOTE(#5):

Appetizer: Fruit soaked over night in Vodka, amaretto and brandy. Main course: BeerDessert: Cherry Bombs

Then read about the game in the next day's paper.

November 19, 2013  03:12 PM ET
QUOTE(#6):

Then read about the game in the next day's paper.

XD

November 19, 2013  03:33 PM ET
QUOTE(#6):

Then read about the game in the next day's paper.

What game???

Comment #9 has been removed
November 19, 2013  04:04 PM ET

would have liked this one....but my items would have been based on location....

November 19, 2013  04:11 PM ET

how about u/anyone invite me to 3 throwdowns (I like a series) with diff locations....u pick the home teams (so that means main course) and I get to choose between a dessert or eliminating it in exchange for a cocktail

Comment #12 has been removed
Comment #13 has been removed
November 19, 2013  04:44 PM ET

bm-valid point...i'll do 1 to prove it, then we can go from there...work a job where I go 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off without technology options....as far as float boy goes, u only comment on circle driving so give me ur best sec menu...off to pick up the kid from driver's wrecker school

November 19, 2013  05:18 PM ET
QUOTE(#14):

bm-valid point...i'll do 1 to prove it, then we can go from there...work a job where I go 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off without technology options....as far as float boy goes, u only comment on circle driving so give me ur best sec menu...off to pick up the kid from driver's wrecker school

No tech for two weeks straight! I'd go mad if I had to do that!!!

Comment #16 has been removed
November 19, 2013  10:38 PM ET
QUOTE(#6):

Then read about the game in the next day's paper.

What's a paper? Some old form of the internet or something?

November 19, 2013  10:39 PM ET
QUOTE(#11):

how about u/anyone invite me to 3 throwdowns (I like a series) with diff locations....u pick the home teams (so that means main course) and I get to choose between a dessert or eliminating it in exchange for a cocktail

You'd have to finish a TD first...

November 19, 2013  10:39 PM ET

Nice counter by right. Wings are always good.

 
November 20, 2013  05:06 AM ET
QUOTE(#17):

What's a paper? Some old form of the internet or something?

Not sure, all I know is the mills that make that stuff smell really really bad.

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