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  • 02/20/2014, 04:05PM ET

You Asked For it.

7#bag _ Com (996-338-73) vs Marlins Fan (156-78-31)
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Star Wars vs Harry Potter!

At Point:

Han Solo.

Who better to have the ball with .00000003 seconds and only a 1 in 765,902,114 chance of making the shot?

SG

Boba Fett

Think dunking from the Free Throw line is impressive? With Rocket Pack, Fett can dunk from the Suburbs- and with Grappling Hook action, lets see anyone get away from him on the break!

SF

Darth Maul

With Spinning Skills- he can get by anyone.

PF

Mace Windu

Cause he gonna put the MF'in Ball in the MF'in Basket!

C

Vader

Cause he's F'N VADER


Sweet concept, thanks for throwing it my way.

The Harry Potter All Stars

PG- Albus Dumbledore

Are you kidding me? Perhaps the greatest wizard ever will be running point for my team and thanks to his phoenix (****) Dumbledore can teleport at will, even if anti-apparition enchantments are being used. Dumbledore would teleport from basket to basket, stealing the ball from the opposition and then instantly teleporting to the other goal to cherry pick a layup.


SG- Harry Potter

Potter would be the Jordan of this team. Nobody could stop him. Dude has an invisibility cloak. Plus he's a natural "athlete"; look how good he was at quidditch. Also he endured and excelled at the Tri-Wizard Tournament, the Magic World's version of the IronMan and the Olympics rolled into one.


SF- Viktor Krum

Great athlete, IMO an Andrei Kirilenko type player.


PF- Hagrid

Looks like a center but he's a bit too soft. Probably has soft hands with the ball like Duncan though.


C- Voldemort

You think Voldemort would let anything get past him? That paranoid **** and his snake Nagini are the perfect line of last defense.


Bonus: HC- Hermione. Super smart, always prepared.


SO you've got the oldest dude in the world running point? "Dore isn't exactly known for being swift of foot, and lets be honest he's not that quick acting either.

I do like the Hagrid pick, might have a Babe Ruth type quality- only problem is, this isn't Baseball, where you only have to move every 45 minutes.

So Lets pretend you got Potter screaming down the lane. . . Sitting in his way. Lord Vader.

Two Words

FORCE CHOKE.

My whole frontcourts got that.

Volde got beat by a kid who was looking up cootie shots in his Wizard books, you think he scares a guy who was pimpin on Portman when he was SIX. That's ballin right there. I mean lets face it. Slim V got beat by the Scooby Doo gang with Broomsticks.

I got Sam Jackson and Han Solo. You are going to be destroyed like a co-ed after the All-Star Game when her rents late.


Way off base about Dumbledore's age and/or alleged slowness being an issue. I mean it would be an issue except for the fact that Dumbledore can TELEPORT. As in instantaneous travel. All over the court, as if he were everywhere at once. He may be old but he'd still be the quickest one around the court, constantly teleporting to get steals and loose balls. Dumbledore would be the greatest hustle player the world has ever seen. At worst.

Also Boba Fett is a minor character only held in high regard by Star Wars fanatics. And the way he died is laughable and embarrassing. So weak. Long story short Boba Fett doesn't stand a chance against Harry Potter, the protagonist and ultimate victor of the story.

Darth Maul seems like a formidable opponent for Viktor Krum and he would be if this were some kind of physical combat instead of basketball. Krum is a world class athlete and Maul is a dude in a cape holding a lightsaber. Pretty sure the world class athlete would have the advantage against the one handed caped freak in a game of basketball.

I don't have enough room to talk about Mace Windu/Hagrid or Vader/Voldemort. Guess that'll be argument three.


Trying to list the people that have outrun the force.

Hmm.

Not a long list there since they are looking over star systems and doing stuff.

Plus is Dums is such a great Wizard- why is he dead? Why is the English Beiber with a dent in his head outsmart him repeatedly?

Lets talk how long it take to use the powers.

Harry has to wave a wand and yell goofy stuff.

Jedis have to look at you. Vader can choke a Canuck without even look at her. Speaking of Jedis Mace and his lightsaber of Purple Drank doesn't even have to touch the ball. He can move it with his mind through the hoop.

All a Jedi has to do is throw the ball up- as its coming down, touch it and its goal tending.

And I have three of them.


Boba Fett is one of the most powerful bounty hunters in the universe, and he did it without Jedi-Powers, being an alien or anything but skill and drive. Considering all the bad guys in your realm got beaten by kids that can't legally buy cough syrup in the US, getting beat by the the guy that ended up with Leia ain't bad.

Plus:

"These are not the fouls you are looking for"


Lol. Your team would probably be more fearsome in a fight. I have a bunch of kids on my squad. One of your guys can choke people with his mind. All in all your team has a bunch of uniforms, helmets and weapons that appeal to nerds but none of that has anything to do with basketball.

Anyway I need to finish recalling PF and C.

Hagrid vs. Mace Windu is really hard for me to call. I'm not sure if Hagrid would be an unstoppable force or an immobile lug. Windu also, I mean it's Samuel L Jackson and whatnot so you just assume he knows how to ball at least a little bit, but then again he wears like three nerdy robes and wields a lightsaber for crying out loud so there's a good chance he's just another sci fi nerd, meaning completely inept at any and all athletic activities. I guess I'll call this a wash.

Voldy vs. Vader is more of the same, unfortunately. Hard to predict. The force vs. dark magic, main antagonist vs. main antagonist, etc. This would be a weird and intriguing matchup. Vader would seem to have a size advantage but who really knows. Voldy comes packaged with an enormous snake though and that'd prolly swing the deal in the Dark Lord's favor.

Comment #1 has been removed
February 20, 2014  05:03 PM ET

I thought Luke made the tough shot.

February 20, 2014  05:07 PM ET
QUOTE(#2):

I thought Luke made the tough shot.

Yeah! Han Solo just set the pick to get Luke free for the open shot.

February 20, 2014  05:18 PM ET
QUOTE(#1):

Harry Potter? What the balls.MF if you asked for Harry Potter as your team you're fighting one hell of an uphill battle.

He has a fighter's chance, left's arguments left so many holes open for MFer to counter with some fancy wizardry.

February 20, 2014  05:20 PM ET

YODA would be perfect @ Center. Vader has cement sneakers, absolutely no mobility.

February 20, 2014  05:21 PM ET

Awesome!!
I love these TD's!!

February 20, 2014  05:22 PM ET
QUOTE(#5):

YODA would be perfect @ Center. Vader has cement sneakers, absolutely no mobility.

Vader might be injury prone to..
I don't know if darth can survive the wear and tear of an 80 game season..
Plus he always sounds out of breath..

February 20, 2014  05:34 PM ET
QUOTE(#5):

YODA would be perfect @ Center.

You mean your FN BFF?

February 20, 2014  05:35 PM ET
QUOTE(#8):

You mean your FN BFF?

IMO, only on Facebook!

February 20, 2014  05:38 PM ET
QUOTE(#8):

You mean your FN BFF?

No need to be jealous my striped friend, you are still in my Favorite 5...

February 20, 2014  05:41 PM ET

Boba Fett as SG....? He has a better chance of shooting an Imperial AT-AT and still missing.

February 20, 2014  07:39 PM ET

Harry Potter all day.

Seriously, you have the entire force at your disposal and you chose the one guy in the story that cannot wield it to run point.

Ridiculous.

February 20, 2014  07:40 PM ET

Chewbacca in the paint as well...

February 20, 2014  08:24 PM ET

unsure of left's choices... better have something up his sleeve or potters gonna dump all over him

February 21, 2014  09:10 AM ET

Like the Maul selection, but will wait for all arguments.....

February 21, 2014  09:18 AM ET
QUOTE(#12):

Harry Potter all day.Seriously, you have the entire force at your disposal and you chose the one guy in the story that cannot wield it to run point.Ridiculous.

Left should have went with Luke or Obi Won at point.

February 21, 2014  09:52 AM ET

Left can not only use the force.. But he can also use the dark side!
Leaning left so far..
Plus Harry is kind of a cry baby..

February 21, 2014  03:26 PM ET
QUOTE(#15):

Like the Maul selection, but will wait for all arguments.....

Stunning.

No Obi- He's a bit old.

No Yoda, I want him commentating with Hubie Brown

February 21, 2014  08:45 PM ET
QUOTE(#18):

Stunning. No Obi- He's a bit old. No Yoda, I want him commentating with Hubie Brown

ha ha..
points right there..
yoda would be the best commentator in the world..
Anyways Darth knows how to use the force..

I guess Hans would be your captain?
He is kind of a ra ra guy..

 
February 21, 2014  10:28 PM ET
QUOTE(#19):

ha ha..points right there..yoda would be the best commentator in the world..Anyways Darth knows how to use the force..I guess Hans would be your captain?He is kind of a ra ra guy..

Hans? He's German??

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