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Why Spurrier won't take Auburn job

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Auburn is still looking and now comes the most delicious rumor of the silly season: that Steve Spurrier could be in the mix. Yes, I know. It's hard not to laugh. But out of compassion let's resist the urge and provide three logical reasons why that won't happen: No. 1: The Head Ball Coach is not going to move any further away from Crescent Beach, Fla., than he is right now. He and wife Jerri are building a beautiful retirement home on the ocean. They have a bunch of grandchildren around them. They ain't moving again until it is time to go to the beach. No. 2: Why would anybody want to spend the final years of a Hall of Fame career butting heads with Nick Saban? In coaching and in life, timing is everything. And for a lot of reasons, the timing is not right for a veteran coach to go to Auburn. No. 3: He's 63. He's the youngest 63 I know and the most competitive man I know. But he doesn't need, nor would he tolerate, the aggravation that comes with the Auburn job. And right now there is a lot of aggravation at Auburn.

Atlanta Journal Constitution

Steve Spurrier, AP Steve Spurrier, AP
December 12, 2008  06:07 AM ET

You forgot number 4: Every Auburn fan and graduate over the age of 20 can't stand Spurrier

December 12, 2008  06:44 AM ET

Spurrier has already stated USC will be his last stop. This is a non-story!

December 12, 2008  07:27 AM ET

AUfan, you and every other War Tiger on the planet would "celebrate" (throw toilet paper all over campus) if Spurrier became your coach.

December 12, 2008  08:32 AM ET

REason #5 - If he stays at S. Carolina he has the very good chance of joining an elite groupd of coaches that include Woody Hayes, Barry Switzer, and Lou Holtz. Care to guess how?

December 12, 2008  08:51 AM ET

He'll have loose dentures installed?

December 12, 2008  08:55 AM ET

Complete non-story. Spurrier is going to either end his career at South Carolina, or hope that Urban Meyer tires of winning at Florida so that he can reclaim his beloved Gators.

December 12, 2008  08:57 AM ET

#6 - Olive Tuberville will whip his butt for taking Tommy's job!

December 12, 2008  09:22 AM ET

#7. It's going to be a dead end job for the next few years and he doesn't need that aggravation. At least at SC, they're somewhat happy with 7-5.

December 12, 2008  09:30 AM ET

#8 - Auburn is the only school with a worse QB situ than SC.

December 12, 2008  10:01 AM ET
QUOTE(#1):

You forgot number 4: Every Auburn fan and graduate over the age of 20 can't stand Spurrier

Oh, please. SC fans hated Spurrier when he was at FU, but now they love him. Auburn would be the same way. Not that it matters, though, because it isn't going to happen.

December 12, 2008  10:24 AM ET
QUOTE(#4):

REason #5 - If he stays at S. Carolina he has the very good chance of joining an elite groupd of coaches that include Woody Hayes, Barry Switzer, and Lou Holtz. Care to guess how?

He'll get involved (physically) with Clemson players?

December 12, 2008  10:55 AM ET
QUOTE(#4):

REason #5 - If he stays at S. Carolina he has the very good chance of joining an elite groupd of coaches that include Woody Hayes, Barry Switzer, and Lou Holtz. Care to guess how?

He will be regarded as an ICON?????

December 12, 2008  11:29 AM ET
QUOTE(#4):

REason #5 - If he stays at S. Carolina he has the very good chance of joining an elite groupd of coaches that include Woody Hayes, Barry Switzer, and Lou Holtz. Care to guess how?

What are the names of some good coaches that decided not to go and coach at Auburn, Alex?

December 12, 2008  11:35 AM ET
QUOTE(#4):

REason #5 - If he stays at S. Carolina he has the very good chance of joining an elite groupd of coaches that include Woody Hayes, Barry Switzer, and Lou Holtz. Care to guess how?

Former NC Coaches who made poor career choices?

December 12, 2008  11:38 AM ET

This sounds like Tony Barnhardt. I think he said the exact same thing in a radio interview.

He sounds like Captain Obvious. Obviously, Auburn would be overjoyed at this point to get someone like a Spurrier, but he's got 5 years at best left in him. He hates working long hours and if he's going to hope to compete against Meye and Saban for the recruits coming out of Florida and Alabama, he'll need to work as hard as them or harder. And he just isn't willing to do that.

December 12, 2008  11:41 AM ET

He's got a great gig now, go 7-5 and beat Clemson once every 4 yrs. They'll erect a statue of him in Columbia.

December 12, 2008  11:58 AM ET
QUOTE(#9):

#8 - Auburn is the only school with a worse QB situ than SC.

Did you watch any UT Vols QBs play this past season?

December 12, 2008  12:09 PM ET
QUOTE(#18):

Did you watch any UT Vols QBs play this past season?

Yep, I saw the Auburn vs. Tennesee game and you're right. Tennessee's QB situation is bad, BUT, at least one of theirs was highly recruited so maybe if the new coaches coach them up decently, the QB situation will be better.

December 12, 2008  12:31 PM ET
QUOTE(#18):

Did you watch any UT Vols QBs play this past season?

throw vandy' in the mix along with lsu,msu, and kentucky.

 
December 12, 2008  12:32 PM ET

He ain't leaving usc bc he charishes his future membership of the augusta national too much.

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