WOW...that was ridculous...the spamming.

So, DCU v. Barca in July? Not bad.

Please no...Anelka will be Nery Castillo 2.0.

That's what she said.

Festivus for the rest of us.

I thought I was living in a Far Side cartoon.

And I bet you are all hoping Gareth Bale is cast as the lead.

"Cue holier-than-thou wailing from all four corners of Europe, from people searching desperately for something to be offended about so they can take themselves even more seriously than they do already. Viewers on Sky Sports, for example, were treated to the sound of co-commentator Gary Birtles suffering from severe blood pressure issues. After chanting "disgrace" for a full two minutes, he then harrumphed: "I don't want Real Madrid to win [Big Cup] any more." When it was pointed out that David Beckham once did the same thing playing for England, Birtles clammed up. Or maybe he'd been calmed by the soothing sound of the panpipes, caused by intermittent jets of steam whistling from his lugs.

With Jose Mourinho having been spotted on the touchline insouciantly flicking the Vs to all and sundry ... hold on ... with Jose Mourinho having been spotted on the touchline talking to Alonso seconds before his dismissal, suspicions are high, Uefa has promised to study the referee's match report, or make some sort of kneejerk populist press statement, or whatever it is they do. Hopefully they'll do nothing, seeing Madrid have done nothing more than be smart enough to spot, and then exploit, a wee loophole in the laws. "I spoke with many players throughout the game, not only with Ramos and Alonso," shrugged Mourinho later. "Stories sell, and the sendings-off came after an easy game where the referee has shown some strange yellows," he added, wearing that look that says he knows full well he's cleverer than you, and you do too.

Of course, karma dictates that Madrid will reach the Wembley final in May, and that either Ramos or Alonso, or possibly both, will find themselves banned from it. At which point, after putting up with weeks of serves-you-right crowing from the continent's press, Mourinho will send out only nine men for the final, just to make a point, his remaining cartoon baddies beating the bonnie princes of Barcelona 1-0 on pens after a 0-0 draw. Lump on now, you know how this is going to end."

You got to love the Guardian's "Fiver" daily email.

I take the under.

It's because Rafa is there and his tactics make Maicon and Lucio age that quickly.

Don't get me wrong...they were like 275 years old when Bale ran past them. But when one party is moving in slow motion and the other is running normally...it looks like super human speed. It's just your eyes playing tricks on you.

First you have to do the Truffle Shuffle.

The apparent need for conferences in MLS.

That's where you are wrong...The Voyeur has done a very good job shielding his players.
It was one of the Premiership review shows in the last 2 weeks where the commentator mentioned Arsenal has the most yellow cards.

They are going in hard and dangerous (see Fabregas challenge)...but Arsene does a good job of playing the victim card.

He better succeed...running by Maicon and Lucio with a combined age of 567 isn't something to brag about.

Shawcross is totally going to **** him up. I take that back...it won't be Shawcross, someone from Arsenal will...the team that complains the most about tackles, have the highest amount of yellow cards this season...Cesc will mess him up and then apologize after the match.

You are all quickly forcing me to put Bale in a special category...a category that currently is only reserved for:

Faisel Xavier (formely known as Abel but still known as the X-Man)
Royston **** Drenthe
Nery "Always Makes an Offside Run" Castillo

Trend carefully...the wrath is strong when those names are mentioned.

FAIL!!!

He torched Maicon and Lucio...combined age, 276.

You keep this up and the Shawcross, break Bale's leg, tackle will be correctly foreshadowed.

You emmer effers...seriously.

What FN, T&R was it that this out of control bromance (or is it really a romance) started...I feel like I need to understand because I'm not ready to drink the Kool-Aid.

Or do I need to go back and watch the two matches against Inter? Is that all I have to do? Because I did burn to DVD.

No worries...I was totally kidding.
It's only group stage matches.

I guess I can delete from my DVR now...

I prefer Viking Quest...VICTORY!!!!