Posted Tuesday August 02, 2011, About: Yankees sending Hughes to the bullpen?

I'd like to see them trade for Lackey. With that short porch, I bet he could set a record for most home runs given up in a day.

Posted Wednesday July 27, 2011, About: Yankees have inside track on Ubaldo

Stop flattering. You'll give me a big head.

Posted Wednesday July 27, 2011, About: Yankees have inside track on Ubaldo

You're another grumpy old stick in the mud. I should see if I can twist myself down over your head like a bottlecap, ass first.

Posted Wednesday July 27, 2011, About: Yankees have inside track on Ubaldo

You seem a lot like an old Jewish guy I met at a recycling center once. Man that dude had a ton of cans.

Posted Wednesday July 27, 2011, About: Yankees have inside track on Ubaldo

I could polish that head of yours simply by watching a German military traning video and then rubbing my wet meat curtains all over it.

Posted Wednesday July 27, 2011, About: Yankees have inside track on Ubaldo

I'm still Morgan Freeman's Wormhole. I just have a golf club sticking out of it now.

Posted Wednesday July 27, 2011, About: Yankees have inside track on Ubaldo

I am so funny. And you should be more polite. We're brothers, you know.

Or DO you know? Because if you don't know ... you just don't know.

Posted Wednesday July 27, 2011, About: Yankees have inside track on Ubaldo

Hey there handsome. Put some Rick Astley music on and I'll crap in your hat for you.
'

Posted Wednesday July 27, 2011, About: Yankees have inside track on Ubaldo

You seem grumpy. Want to come help me wash my dirty balls?

Posted Wednesday July 27, 2011, About: Yankees have inside track on Ubaldo

That's right sugar. I can even hit a forty on the back nine after lunching on three Pink Cadillacs and a cucumber sandwich.

Posted Wednesday July 27, 2011, About: Yankees have inside track on Ubaldo

I'd like Justin Timberlake to invade my South.

Posted Wednesday July 27, 2011, About: Yankees have inside track on Ubaldo

That sounds good. But make it a chubby Laotian boy and a caramel-filled hot tub.

Posted Wednesday July 27, 2011, About: Yankees have inside track on Ubaldo

I think I still have some Nilla Wafer crumbs in my pubis mons. Do you know of any golfers around here that wouldn't mind picking them out with his teeth? Does Cain play golf?

Posted Tuesday July 26, 2011, About: Chipper doesn't see how Beltran helps Braves

Maybe you want to consider on-line dating.

Posted Tuesday July 26, 2011, About: Chipper doesn't see how Beltran helps Braves

Does his butt crack frown?

Posted Tuesday July 26, 2011, About: Chipper doesn't see how Beltran helps Braves

Deep and stanky, baby.

Posted Tuesday July 26, 2011, About: Chipper doesn't see how Beltran helps Braves

Exactly. Bumgarner, Cain and Lincecum pitched way over their heads in the Series. The got up for the challenge and should be commended for it. BUt the Giants do suck, and they were incredibly lucky.

Unless you think Cody Ross has a top ten skill set, in which case I invite you to put your hand in my wormhole and see if you come out with any jewelry or surgical instruments.

Posted Monday July 25, 2011, About: Cardinals interested in White Sox pitcher

Maybe someone will die during the home stretch again this year.

Posted Monday July 25, 2011, About: Cardinals interested in White Sox pitcher

Break out that finger and explore the vastness of my wormhole.

Posted Monday July 25, 2011, About: Cardinals interested in White Sox pitcher

Tickle my polyps.

Posted Wednesday July 20, 2011, About: Phillies, Sox chasing Beltran; price going up

It could be because they're both wary of paying him when the jury is not yet out on the success of his microfracture surgery. He looks good so far, but there isn't that much of a reliable sample as to its long-term success. He might fare well as a DH for the Yankees, who could use a boost at that spot, but the Rangers seem pretty well set with the bats. Even Chavez seems to be lighting it up when he's in for the Rangers, and Leonys Martin is waiting in the wings should Chavez fail. I don't see where they have the need.