The Republic of Sport

Moonlight Graham

Moonlight Graham's Comments

Posted Thursday October 18, 2007, About: Seve wants Ryder Cup captaincy

My wife might think I have a girlfriend.

Posted Friday July 13, 2007, About: Yankees give A-Rod ultimatum

The Boston Red will be pleased to welcome Mr. Rodriguez.

May he turn away from the dark side of the force.

Posted Friday July 13, 2007, About: Brady's pals: No truth to wedding talk

This will break the heart of LanaLikesBrady.

Posted Thursday July 12, 2007, About: Yankees chasing A-Rod extension

Thirty million dollars a year to play the game of baseball.

Who among us would not do it for half of that?

Or for room and board and the occasional cold one?

Or for nothing at all?

(Scott Boras, that's who.)

Posted Wednesday July 11, 2007, About: Big Papi needs knee surgery

You either need a psychiatric intervention or a powerful sedative, which I would be pleased to write you a prescription for.

Posted Wednesday July 11, 2007, About: Boras wants new defensive stats

Scott Boras.

He is not even a man anymore.

It's become a scourge.

If you put a company of apes on a garbage barge, how long will it take before the alpha male eats the first-born?

Scotty knows.

Posted Wednesday July 11, 2007, About: Rangers willing to deal plenty

Put Otsuka and Gagne on an inner-tube and float them down the Rio Grande with a sack of Oreos and a pint of blue paint.

Posted Wednesday July 11, 2007, About: Big Papi needs knee surgery

The hyper man is on the money: Ortiz will soldier on, as always, as ever.

Posted Wednesday July 11, 2007, About: Sources: Mariners to lock up Ichiro

Watching Ichiro traverse the bases last night on that inside-the-park shot was a stirring sight, the kind of baseball moment I live for.

Who plays the game any better than this man?

Posted Wednesday July 11, 2007, About: La Russa's snub irks Pujols

He's "loosing" his mind.

That slays me.

It was tightly confined up to now, we must presume.

Why do we bother with this pitiful exercise?

I've got patients to see.

Posted Wednesday July 11, 2007, About: A-Rod: Playing in New York is difficult

Curiously, "Benny," I already enjoy my life, but your stingingly sarcastic surrender leaves me oddly unfulfilled.

Let's pray over it, shall we?

And in that symbolic gesture, I will have kneeled to your excellency.

Posted Wednesday July 11, 2007, About: Do Giants want GM back?

For the love of all things holy, will someone take the initiative to have this troubled soul above removed from these rolls?

His one-note variation of juvenile gags appears on every rumor I read.

It has become tantamount to a virulent virus.

Posted Wednesday July 11, 2007, About: Teixeira to return to Atlanta?

Scott Boras has become the malignant symptom and insidious cause of the runaway greed that is ruining our great game.

Posted Tuesday July 10, 2007, About: A-Rod: Playing in New York is difficult

"Remedial," of course, means to provide a remedy, so if my feeble attempts at wit are helping you to get past your quaint air of pomposity, we may all be better served.

Posted Tuesday July 10, 2007, About: No takers for disgruntled Angels DH

Shea desperately needs psychiatric care and counseling.

As does our "You Are/I Am Internet Loser" head case.

Posted Tuesday July 10, 2007, About: A-Rod: Playing in New York is difficult

"Res ipsa loquitur" is a legal term from the Latin meaning, "the thing speaks for itself," but is used above by the Buckner hater to mean, "I am a pretentious twit who parades his intelligence before swine to bask in my own air of pretentious superiority."

Posted Monday July 09, 2007, About: Jones: Braves need starting pitcher

Jones still covers a lot of ground, has a magnetized glove, and drives in runs.

It must be noted, however, that he cannot dance, and has chronic bouts of batter's box dementia.

Posted Monday July 09, 2007, About: Rivera's return affects Angels trades

This cat can defile a litter box.

Posted Monday July 09, 2007, About: Frustrated Indians seeking relief

We need lives.

Posted Monday July 09, 2007, About: How can Astros replace GM?

Am I meant to take the above personally?

(I sadly did.)

Posted Monday July 09, 2007, About: Rangers schedule Teixeira's return

This demented fellow above has pierced the hollow core of my being.