When I first read the headline, I thought it said Batman returns. That would have been interesting. This is lame like lamey mclame juice, son.

These pretzels are making me thirsty.

Obama POWER! Even that jackalope Bayern can't stop progress. Forward!

I'm super originial playa! You don't know squad bodiddly. For realz. Manchester United losses to Everton yesterday. This ain't no paradise city, son!

Skip Bayless? He wishes he had hair as silky smooth as mine. What you need to recognize, son, is that I used to work as a journalist covering water polo. It wasn't until they banned the use of horses that I got into the soccer entertainment world. And for your info, I WILL step into this jungle. In fact, I will welcome you to the jungle because we got fun and games. In fact, we got everything you want. Honey we even know the names we are the people that can find whatever you may need if you got the money honey we got your disease.

So clearly I am NOT afraid of stepping into the Jungle. Based off of your sexual predator comment I'm guessing you may actually be Mad Mex instead of Underground, because only Mad Mex would start comparing how many sausages he can snarf down his throat in less that 30 minutes. My point is this; International Milan is the best team on our planet and Manchester City is a close second. Why any team would want Brek Shea is a question, unless he would want to be a clothing model for the teams fan catalogue. For this reason alone he should go to AC Milan where he can walk around in his panties and show off his cool hairstyle.

And please, you know you like me. I'm probably the freshest thing you've come across on the internet in the last 7 days. Booy-yeah, son!

A TMZ reference? This must be an Underground dupe account. Fo shizzle my quizzle. In all honesty though, I can tell your into the fashionista scene based on your liberal use of gonzo terminlogy. I don't watch TMZ I produce shows about a little dog that licks his baby nutz and then films snuff films featuring interviews with Landon Donovan. Get over yourself. This isn't Toronto and you're not a Greek woman.

He's a freak. That's why he gets the blame. Complete and total freak. Look at his hair look at his clothes look at his bathroom stance. Sorry you get stuck with being president of his fan club though, son.

So this is where all the retardos go to talk soccer now?

WTF?

First!

So did IMAN.

Dang man bro, how many sausages you smoke today?

What did Everton do when they got the fourth spot? Fail to Villareal. Newcastle? Got eliminated by Partizan Belgrade. On penalties. How English.

Let me guess. Soccer is the nickname of a homeless, male street walker whom you pay $5 every Saturday night to give you oral sex in the local park restroom?

Balotelli already apologized. After a few rounds of make up sex with Mancini, I'm sure he'll be back in the team.

Are you trying to summon Mad Mex or Underground?

I poop on you!

Dang Hudson, you eyes been looking soft!

Why is he doing this??? I DO like him. ?
Yesterday he was trying to get my attention by talking loud, kept on staring at me, and showing off. Today we locked eyes twice and he looked sad. His eyes look really shinny and soft. But why did he look sad? Does he not know that I like him?

Oh Mad Mex, are you and crosscountry still dating? That's cute.

What Do I Get My Boyfriend For Our 1 Year Anniversary?
Ok, so we are both 11 and in 5th grade, and we are going to subway or going bowling for our anniversary. I already got him an autograph from Greg Pattillo, a card, and chocolate bar. I need ONE MORE THING! Please answer this question!!!!

Check out this righteous email I gotz from my boy LP2:

How come girls don't want a guy who doesn't drink or go partying like me?
So I really don't understand why girls don't like guys like me who don't drink and don't go partying. Almost every girl that I wanted to date thinks I am boring because I like to make videos of airplanes and trains. Its like almost every girl wants a bad boy to date. I am always left out and I never get invited to hang out with anybody. How come girls don't want to date me because of the fact that I am not like other guys ???

No way this happens!