Posted Sunday August 07, 2011, About: Pacquiao to face darts champion

Sometimes when we touch...

I hope this doesn't hurt his pop singing career. Not much this dude can't do though, and he'll definitely increase visibility of the...sport? Of darts.

Posted Wednesday July 13, 2011, About: McDonald wants sacks back with San Fran

I got my sack grabbed in San Fran when I was on shore leave. It wasn't that bad.

Posted Sunday July 10, 2011, About: Red Sox pursuing Cubs ace

Lackey pitched well against the Sox as well, and he's now the worst pitcher in the history of the world. But I can't hate on him, because he sounds like the singing bass in those "Gimme back that Filet O'Fish" commercials.

TRADE LACKEY TO THE CUBS STRAIGHT UP for Garza. That would be awesome.

Posted Sunday July 10, 2011, About: Arrested: Ward insists he did nothing wrong

At least he kept his pants on.

I've always admired Hines as a tough player, and hope this incident is untrue.

Posted Sunday July 10, 2011, About: Pacman arrested again

I'm a grown-assed man!!

I dunno what's more shocking, that it's Pacman in trouble, or that it's a guy in a Bungles uniform in trouble.

Posted Wednesday August 18, 2010, About: Ellsbury's season 'probably' done

Ellsbury was fine, and set to return. Then he put his seatbelt on too tight and broke more ribs. When JD Drew heard about this, he laughed so hard he broke his jaw. Those guys have the bone structure of small, flightless birds. Sux that they blew it with Ellsbury, the guy was shaping up to be a superstar.

Posted Friday July 16, 2010, About: Hope floats for Portis and 1,500-yard season

"still an elite back capable of rushing for a 1,500-yard season..."

Only if he's playing Madden 2004 with himself. Gonna be interesting in the NFC East this year. I don't see any team getting more than 10 wins or fewer than 6. As long as the Cowboys choke somewhere...