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Jeremy Lin and the Atomic Eggroll (poem)

09:34 PM ET 02.21

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Every night I used to go down on my knees and prayTo the Gods of Sport on heavenly Mount OlympusTo transport the idiot Knicks owner James Dolan far awayAnd relieve the world from the Knicks plague that inflicted usYes I do recall that knuckleheaded teamThat made a daily joke out of New YorkA roster of misbegotten losers supremeThat seemed to be intentionally staffed with jerksWho can forget the idiot Stephon MarburyDisrupting each practice by throwing a screaming fitNot showing up for games intentionallyWhen Isiah Thomas forced him on the bench to sitOr the fat idiot slob Eddy CurryHis butt…

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Brooklyn Nets and Nutz

04:20 PM ET 12.08

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Make way for the next Sports Capital of the World, ladies and gentlemen, and I ain't talkin' about Rio de Janeiro or even freakin London, England.
I'm talking about Brooklyn!
Oh yeah! The City Without A Brain. Everybody knows that Brooklynites are not the sharpest tools in the box. It's a running joke ever since Ralph and Alice, and before that. Brooklynites think Shakespeare got his name because he Shakes-Beer-Before-He-Drinks-It, duh. But they know how to count money. And they are a city of Sports Animals!
Brooklyn got its soul stolen from it in 1898, when it got absorbed into…

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Philadelphia - Puke Me A River

12:29 PM ET 08.03

Views: 586
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When Philles fan Matthew Clemmens had the inspiration to stick his fingers down his throat and puke all over his neighbors, with whom he was having a dispute, during a baseball game this season, he augured a whole new era in that city's proud sports history.
Long envious of New York's tickertape parades, Philadelphia has been casting about for a way to honor its sports teams that would reflect its culture and personality. What better way than to have the Phillies, Eagles, Flyers and Sixers cruise down Market Street in open top convertibles while their adoring admirers unleash steaming…

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