Charles Hartley

My Perilous Days as a Sixth Grade Pitcher

08:50 AM ET 05.23

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Parents screamed at me. As a sixth grade pitcher, I had just unleashed a mind-of-its-own heater from the mound at one of the opposing ball players. It nailed him between his two scapulas squarely on his spinal cord. He lay lifeless on the ground. Minutes later an ambulance came roaring into the school parking lot.
"Get him outta here," the adults yelled. "He doesn't belong on the mound."
I stood wondering why the world had turned on me. All I had done was tried to throw a strike. The ball had gotten away from me. I was used to that feeling. This was how I rolled. I didn't mean to…

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All Umpires Cheat to Eat

08:42 AM ET 05.22

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The verdict is in on all baseball umpires: they want to eat food above all else. This is their overriding concern when making "safe" or "out" calls.
I reached this conclusion after watching my son play in over 250 baseball games over the past nine years at the Little League and now high school levels.
Without fail, when a batter runs to first base and the ball flies towards the first baseman, umpires invariably call the runner out. Before the ball arrives, they know they will make this call. They're already forming the word "out" with their lips and getting ready to holler…

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Salute to the World's Non-Athletes

09:33 AM ET 05.21

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There are people walking this Earth who are not world-class athletes like LeBron James. They are traveling through various walks of life. Some may have been athletes earlier in their lives, some not. Some may have wanted to be but failed. Some we can't be sure about. To wrap our heads around this eclectic group, I offer a random salute to a few of these noteworthy people. Brace yourself.
Being a short and stocky guy, George Costanza was probably a pedestrian varsity high school wrestler. My guess is he cheated and played dirty tricks to win those matches and often got caught. In all,…

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