The Sports Comedian

ESPN Fires Man Who Accidentally Puts WNBA Headline On Site

10:07 AM ET 06.20

Views: 634
Comments: 0

Visitors
to ESPN.com were shocked this morning when an editing snafu landed a
horrific headline onto the front page of their website. At
approximately 6:34 AM, a story appeared about a player from the WNBA's
Minnesota Lynx missing the rest of the season. The article was
published and available for just anyone to see who came onto that front
page.ESPN began receiving calls at their main offices around
6:37 with irate men screaming about how they had been exposed to a
story relating to the WNBA."I come to your site because I want
sports news," said fan Gerald Perkins. "But I go there…

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David Blaine To Try To Survive Entire Season As Lions Fan

10:00 AM ET 06.20

Views: 880
Comments: 1

David
Blaine, the street magician who is famous for his longterm stunts, such
as being submerged in water for 30 days or hung above New York for
weeks on end, has announced he will begin a new stunt this September.
This might be his most treacherous feat yet, and one doctors have
advised him not to attempt.He will try to survive an entire
season as a Detroit Lions fan. He has been preparing his body for the
constant losing over the summer by watching Washington Nationals games,
but nothing can truly prepare you for the horror of watching the real
thing. He has bought a Matthew Stafford…

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Lucky No Good Piece Of Impregnates Second Model

09:51 AM ET 06.20

Views: 1248
Comments: 1

Apparently that lucky son of a **** Tom Brady has impregnated his
second super model with a child, this time his new wife, Gisele
Bunchen. The no good **** says he and his wife are very happy to be
expecting their first child. That makes two models down on this prick's
quest to make sure all of the offspring of 21st century supermodels
belongs to him.

I've been a beatwriter for these Pats for 20 years, and you are the
worst quarterback I've ever seen. Do you know how many models I've been
with? Do you know how many women I've been with who could even be
remotely considered models even…

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