YourSecretIsSafeWithMe

Your secret is safe with me, Shaun Alexander

04:11 PM ET 03.11

Views: 752
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Dear Shaun Alexander,A lot of Seattle Seahawks fans think the writing is on the wall. They may be right. First the Hawks sign TJ Duckett, then Julius Jones. Plus they already have Maurice Morris. It's too bad; you've done a lot for the team. However, I have an idea that will help the Seahawks, and will allow you to be a key part of their season: Use the New York Giants 2007 blueprint for Super Bowl success. Here are three simple things you can do to help the Seahawks win a championship:1. Make like Tiki. You sort of look like Tiki Barber, so following his path to the…

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Your secret is safe with me, Ichiro

12:09 PM ET 03.10

Views: 685
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Dear Ichiro,Few people are cool enough to be known by only one name. You make it look easy. You even have your first name on the back of your Seattle Mariners jersey. No one else would dare try a move like that. You are powerful. I believe you invented Sudoku. You are probably secretly worried you will turn out like Fabio or Yani or Alf. But you will not become one of those flash-in-the-pan-one-name-only-people. I believe you will be the next Cher...or Batman!Until then, your secret is safe with me.Sincerely,R. LeBaron

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Your secret is safe with me, Brett Favre

08:18 PM ET 03.07

Views: 1432
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Dear Brett Favre,Well, I guess it's official, you've retired from the NFL. It's been a great run-- maybe the best any quarterback has ever had. It's too bad you couldn't go out on your own terms. I'm sure it's not a coincidence that the Green Bay Packers website "accidentally" announced your retirement with a mysterious post that was only online for a few minutes, and then a few days later, you actually retired. You probably wanted to play one more year. Unfortunately, you have to do what the internet says. It's really too bad.One time the internet…

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